Friends/Peers/Buddies (Whatever you wanna call them)


Friends, we have all sorts.

Kindergarten friends, have recess with the same person for more than one week, then he/she is  automatically considered your bestfriend.

Gradeschool friends, goes the same with kindergarten, but this time, you have to provide “benefits”. Its what we call “lemme copy your assignment/seatwork/quiz”

Highschool friends, things are starting to be different. It’s harder to find a company. Especially for the ladies, backstabbing is on the loose. Survival of the fittest is on.

College friends, supposed to be a group of independent individuals. They can stand whether they have “friends” or not, but they can at least need a “company” every once in a while.

Kindergarten, Gradeschool, Highschool, College. Different sectors. Different People. Different Activities, Environment and Approaches.

Its so sad to realize that when an individual ages, its seems to lose his/her faith with happiness, with truth… its harder to trust while you stay on the real world. The older you get, lesser friends you gain. Sad.

The Kindest People are the Best People to Fool. Whatever, Wherever and who else are you with, this quote applies. We are all off-guarded, and we can’t blame other people to act…inhumane. And so, bitches, sluts, whores, bullshits, talkshits, asswipes, and many other unbecoming personas were born.

It surprises me that other people are proud to admit that they obtain these unwanted personas. But I’d like to think that it is only their “defense mechanism”. These are people too, they get hurt, and most probably, they got hurt leading them to say rude things about themselves.

Yes, I understand. However, can’t they think of any other alternatives? The whole world is not reliable of all the pains it had brought to one, besides; the universe is more than enough to expand. Why concentrate on the dark side?

Don’t contaminate innocent people with this unhealthy practice. Cure yourself. Be a good social citizen, your unsolicited negative comments are not helping. Think of this, I admit it, sometimes I do this unknowingly, and I am ashamed of myself when I remember those times. Whew, I was a bitch. Ouch.

Find your place you feel at ease. The world is cruel enough, why belong when you can make change? Don’t let anybody dictate on you. It doesn’t take a bachelor degree to understand this; it takes a courageous man to apply this. Keep it real, and if you’re unhappy, you are not in your proper self. Thus, don’t expect anybody to be true to you. Keep it real.

Courageousness. It is different from being aggressive. Fighting and confrontations is not the solution at all times. In fact, it may even make the flames of a spark even worse. Suggestion, wait for the right time. Calm down. Control your ego. Examine yourself first, then empathize on the opposing party, this practice may be tiring, yet, sooner or later, as time goes by, you’ll feel good about yourself;  when you do, try helping the other party by talking it out, well, if you really care for the person. If not leave them be, and proceed to your life correctly as possible. It’s hard to be good in this world. Really.

Why am I telling these things?

Believe it or not, I gained myself a number of real friends.

Why do I have to say “Believe it or Not?”?

Because it takes  a lot of time to find your true friends. Believe me on this, it is similar to finding your partner in life. It is as challenging. HAHA.

What are REAL friends?

These are the people that you don’t necessarily meet every day. People you have established with your trust, earned good memories through good times. Experienced pains; contributed maturity.

When you have friends, there’s some sort of attachment, a mysterious attachment. Whether you see each other once in a while or not, your faith about each other’s loyalty doesn’t fade, and was never fake. Bruises and wounds may occur. Misunderstandings caused by miscommunication. Amazingly, these are all patched by one thing. Established friendship. It is too strong that not even the strongest storm can take down.

This group of people knows each other well enough to understand each other by instincts. And when you find these people in your life, you’ll feel blessed. I guarantee you.

However, I have to warn you. These people are very challenging to find, just like our partners in life. Some come & go and others retain. Some people fronts like they are your friends yet they just wanted to suck benefits from you. Oh these people exist, and they are very dangerous, they can source tears from your eyes. And you’ll feel stupid for trusting somebody unworthy.

Let them be, as I’ve said earlier, don’t blend in, you don’t want to be one of those monsters, be yourself. You are better than them. You have the capacity to understand, so use it. You have your friends to help you heal tragic moments. More often, these things happen at school/work place, when you are unguarded, when you don’t have your family beside you. Let your friends be your family.

Just like your family, your friends are ready to fight for you. Just look at this status, my friend had just posted.

“I’ve got the best circle of friends one could ever dream of. Trying to hurt them is like trying to hurt yourself. Don’t blame me for the revenge, because remember that I warned you first. B*TCHES.”

Her status says it all. Now, of course,  the way you’re family will handle your down moments will be way more different. Just the same, it’s so nice to see people treat you as family. Because we are family in some ways.

What else, oh, we don’t tolerate inhumane personas. See, “birds of the same feather flock together”. We shall all come clean, Let’s say disloyalty towards a partner was seen. Here’s a sample conversation:

Girl1: So you’re seeing another guy?

Girl2: yeah, I just met him somewhere…

Girl1: Does Allan knows about this?

Girl2: Nah, I’d be dead when he finds this out.

Girl1: You’d better tell him.

Girl2: This won’t last, I still love Allan.

Girl1: If you love him, you have no other reason of seeing this other guy. Look, hate us, but unless you tell this to Allan, we should inform him about this.

– – – – –

Hate us for intruding, but we just cannot tolerate it. Okay, some cases, we just have to let it go.. Its their life as they say. But as much as possible, we keep it clean, honesty is always an issue. We cannot protect a friend if she’s doing the same sin.  Also, we cannot protect a friend if he/she does not treat us as one;  if he/she does  not allow us to help her.

We don’t choose our friends, everybody’s welcome to join, we will embrace you wholeheartedly, it’s just that, it is up to you whether you’ll stay or leave.

This is a story between me and my college friends. Similar story applies for the rest of my friends.

It all started during my first days of college. I smoke, they smoke.. BOOM! Compatibility had reflected. Years and years, the group became bigger and bigger. Variety of attitudes, we never thought we would complement each other but we do. Different programs, but common interests.

We may say that we are only using each other for each other’s company. However, can you still call it a company when everybody’s doing an effort to make each member special? It is more of a family-like.

For four years, was there a moment when you want to take a rest from the group?

Of course I did, we all get tired. Especially when familiarity breeds contempt, reality bites, it’s a disappointing situation to see yourself not in a good condition with your friends. Everybody needs some time, think things over by yourself. You’re friends will soon understand you when you decide to come back, true friends will always be there no matter how long you’ve been gone.

Again, you have to examine yourself and cure yourself. Do not blame anybody.

Sample situation:  there’s a new member in a group that had gotten most of the attention, you weren’t oriented well.

Oh c’mon, release some maturity within you. They are still your friends, adding members within the group does not follow that your “Established Friendship” weakened. Expand. It is an opportunity to expand.

What are the things that you should open up to your friends?

First, when you got hold of information about another friend, you should first think the intensity of importance, shall it do good to your friend? If yes, go ahead. If no, don’t even bother.

Gossips. Ugh, every girls’ bad practice. Only a few of teens nowadays avoid these stuffs. There should be an act upon this, it is very unbecoming. Guilty. I should be punished as well. Haha, Ouch. When you hear gossips against your friend, “its time to move” right? “its war time”. Hahah! Admit it, it is funny, but is true. Talk to the person who told it, better yet, let them both speak. Leave them alone and let them settle their business like adults. If it wasn’t solved. Respect their decisions. They need some time.

Now, sometimes we tend to seek for concerns extended by our friends. Honestly, I see this as a pure sign of immaturity. This is not a game, no need for team-mate. You settle this with yourself with all your effort. Don’t drag another friend to hate another person. You are more than that right?

Asking for advices. As a friend, it is a hard responsibility to tell advices. It is taken seriously. You’re advice might be chosen, and whether your friend blames you or not for an unexpected outcome. The guilt exists. However, we must also be reminded of the fact that, the intention of helping and support is always around but the right and correct advice is always up to the person who seeks for it.

We are supposed to nurture each other, if you are not confident of bringing goodness to your friend. Leave her/him alone. Settle these things first. Do not corrupt others’ minds, if yours is. You don’t want to mess your name any further. Start cleaning.

It is helpful to be aware of the reality, but please, do not concentrate on it. There is more to that, let us all open our eyes and minds. Move forward and keep on learning.

I am a friend, I have friends, I am uncertain if I am a good friend. Although I am trying my best to be. If trying my best would withdraw my identity of being ME. This is not my course to take. Then I am believing in a huge mistake, these are not my friends. But hey, they are.. they really are.

Thank you Big Man for this Blessing. I owe you more than I thought.

Friends are your strengths, it may also be your weakness, but they are the gateways to your maturity for they can mold you and you can mold them.

“Expand your opportunities to maturity through your REAL friends, they are your STRENGTH as well”

Last says:

Keep it REAL and receive reality. If it bites,  learn and move forward.

Nothing’s wrong in continuous kindness, be persistent.

Don’t be scared of losing some “friends” some are deceiving.

Nobody knows how to become a good friend, just keep in mind.

“DO THE THINGS YOU WANTED TO BE DONE UNTO YOU.”

Hope this blog is appreciated. Be a good friend everybody! Be a good person!:)

Comments will be very much appreciated. Thanks. 🙂

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12 responses to “Friends/Peers/Buddies (Whatever you wanna call them)

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